Confidence and Self Esteem

Self-confidence versus self-esteem

One of the most common enquiries at my hypnotherapy practice is from clients who seek help for issues with low confidence and self-esteem. I have noticed that these terms are often used interchangeably, yet they are different.

Self-confidence is a trait that people possess when they are confident in their abilities and resources. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have a fear of the unknown, but they still have the belief to take advantage of the opportunities that come their way. People who possess self-confidence are able to act on opportunities and seize them despite fear or even anxiety, not because they don’t experience those things. The difference is that they are able to transform risk into a challenge. Without taking risks we would not move forward and would lead rather stagnant lives.

I have worked with many clients who had successful careers, a good family and social life, and yet had low self esteem.

So whilst self-confidence is tied up with self-trust and self-reliance, self-esteem is our own sense of self-worth. It is how we “perceive” ourselves. This perception has an impact on our self acceptance which, ultimately, influences how we are able to accept other people.

Why might low self-esteem require treatment?

People with low self-esteem often experience relationship issues. Being intimate with someone requires opening up, trust, loosening our defense mechanisms and essentially showing the other person our most vulnerable and fragile parts of ourselves. This can be very challenging if our self-esteem has been damaged in some way, for example in previous abusive relationships.

When we have low self-esteem, we may struggle to or even be incapable of validating ourselves from within. Consequently, our own sense of security largely depends on validation from other people. Seeking approval and acceptance from others, from external sources rather than from within ourselves. This is what psychologists call “external locus of control” and it has been linked with many mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, addictions etc.

Examples of looking to others for validation could include…

  • if only I lost more weight others would like me…
  • if only my boss was complimenting me on my hard work more often…
  • if only my partner paid more attention to how I look…etc.

Where does this come from?

The blueprint is usually laid out during our formative years. We may have been criticised by our parents or teachers, rejected by someone we fancied, we may have been bullied at school…

Hypnotherapy can help you uncover the “whys”, assist in emotional release and healing and help you “rewrite” the old programs for more appropriate ones, so the old negative programming does not have to run the show anymore. You can become empowered and be in charge.

This is because learned thinking and behaviour can also be unlearned. You just need to make a conscious choice that you want it to happen and commit yourself to the process. Many people are scared to do this because they are afraid of a change or taking steps toward it. They fear what such change may bring and how their lives may alter so they they adopt an approach of ‘better the devil you know’.

Online therapy for confidence and self-esteem

If circumstances or distance make it difficult for you to meet up in person, I am also able to offer online therapy sessions for confidence and self-esteem issues.

Booking a therapy session for confidence or self-esteem issues


If you’d like to book a therapy session for low self-esteem or self-confidence or you’d just like to find out some more, please contact me and we can discuss your next step in more detail.

    Where am I based?

    I’m based in Larbert. If you’re not sure how close that is to you, I’m:

    • 3.5 Miles from Falkirk (direct trains)
    • 9.1 Miles from Stirling (direct trains)
    • 9.9 Miles from Cumbernauld
    • 12.3 Miles from Linlithgow
    • 12.5 Miles from Alloa (direct trains)
    • 18 Miles from Dunfermline
    • 22.7 Miles from Glasgow (direct trains)
    • 30.7 Miles from Edinburgh (direct trains)